Sunday, August 18, 2013

friendship

This is where I sit down and write a long post about what God has been teaching me lately.

There is everything to be said and there is nothing to be said. My brain feels too full to even begin to put it all down.

This summer was nothing like I expected it to be. I thought it would be a summer of refreshment and fun.

And it was fun. But it was also very hard.

My friend asked me, what did God teach you about Himself this summer? I had to think about it, but I told her, He taught me about His goodness. He is good, even when everything around me is falling apart.

I spent the bulk of my summer considering friendship. What does it mean to be a friend? Do you have to be friends with everyone at the same level? Who are my friends?

I also realized I don't have a lot of friends that are true friends. Sure I have acquaintances that I enjoy spending a fun evening with, but there isn't a lot of depth to our friendship.

Friends care about each other. They want to know what's really going on in the other person's life. They want to talk about real things. They have fun together. They make an effort to spend time together. They serve the other person's needs.

I have very few friends that fall under that description. But I do have friends like that and I am immensely thankful for them.

I have no idea what this autumn holds, who my friends will be, or if I will really have any friends.

I have a few people that I think need to see what true friendship looks like, so when see them, I want to be a true friend to them, even if they don't reciprocate. Unfortunately, I don't see them a lot and I am tired of inviting myself over to their house, so we will see what happens with that.

Honestly, I want to get married. But I have to know someone first and my pool of friends is quickly running dry. I trust God, but I think I need to be spending time outside of my house with a wide group of people. I don't know what that will necessarily look like, but I trust God to bring it to me. He's always been faithful in the past.

I've had to trust God that He knows what He's doing, because I create these big, elaborate plans in my mind and I want God to make them happen, because they look so perfect. But they might not be perfect and if doesn't work out, God does know what's happening.

The only thing I can do at the moment is be faithful in the place God has put me in right now.

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