Saturday, December 7, 2013

"Peace comes not from the removal of desire, but the reformation of it."

Thursday, December 5, 2013

cookies for breakfast

Trying to get skinny during the holidays. Yeah, that's funny. Especially when there are Christmas cookies in the house. 

Friday, November 29, 2013

autumnal to wintertide transition

Yesterday we took family photos. That was the first time I had picked up my camera in three and a half months. I had forgotten how much I missed it. 

I took it outside for a bit today.

P.S. The last photo is edited with the new (to me, just bought it today) VSCOfilm 4 pack. 

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

my room has become a second garage

Our garage is practically a storage unit. It is a two car garage, but there is a metal pole in the center of it, which makes it so we can only park one car in it, the other half of the garage is full of organized *stuff*.

My room is becoming a second garage.

It started innocently enough. My bed has a couple of feet between it and the wall and you can't see the ground over there when you walk into the room.

First it was the blinds that weren't needed anymore, then I had quite a few boxes of beer stacked along the wall. I really didn't mind it too much, my room isn't very decorated and I have a pile or two myself.

The other night I climbed into bed and saw a 50 gallon tank next to my bed. The remaining gerbil had died a few days before and I guess they needed somewhere to store the cage. I started giggling, my room really had become a holding place for junk!

The peak was last weekend, someone gave Dad a new TV. Not sure why we needed it, it is about as big and clunky as the current TV we have and works just as well. Anyways Dad must have come to the same conclusion, because I came in late one night after working all day, flipped on my light and laughed and laughed. There sitting, not quite behind my bed, so quite visible from the doorway, was a huge TV.

I wonder what my room will receive next. And when any of this will go, because surely it will. Surely.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

when in doubt watch downton

I want this day to be over.  So does Justine.
So we're going to watch Downton before dinner.
Her idea. Which is remarkable. Since she doesn't watch tv.

Monday, October 21, 2013

old cat

We went to the Farmer's Market this Saturday on Cherry Street. There was an antique shop on the stretch of road we were walking down, it had the oldest cat I have ever seen. It had old fur. It meowed at us through the glass, but since we couldn't hear it, it just looked like it was opening it's mouth. It also rubbed the door because it wanted us to come in and pet it. Unfortunately, the store wasn't open yet, so we couldn't go in. 

I kinda fell in love a little bit.


On the cruise I discovered something about myself I didn't know previously; I melt when you call me 'Princess'.

In the dining room, they have a headwaiter that makes sure the whole dining room runs smoothly. Edwin was a 50+ man from India, with a potbelly and a little mustache on his upper lip. He lit up when he saw the three of us girls walking into the dining room, me leading the pack with the grandparents trailing behind. He would stop and look me in the eyes and ask, "How are you today, Princess?" And I melted every time. Which surprised me. I didn't think I appreciated endearments, but I guess I do. A lot.

Friday, October 18, 2013


As a child, we visited Oxley Nature Center quite often. Now that I am an adult, it's been quite a while since I have been there.

Justine and I went running at Oxley today.

It was wonderful.

I found myself distracted by the clover growing on parts of the trails. I always want to look for a four leaf clover.

It was chilly outside and my bare legs were cold when we first started to run and the air hurt my lungs. I quickly adjusted to the temperature and soon welcomed the breeze across my face. I realized it was the perfect temperature to run in, I was neither cold nor hot.

As we ran, a small shower went overhead and I loved listening to the rain patter against the dead leaves on the ground and feel the drop smatter across my forehead.

We ran through grass. The wet seeped through my shoes. Soon I could hear the water squishing around in my socks.

At two miles I was tired and wanted to walk, but Justine encouraged me to see if I could go a bit further. At two and a half miles my body resigned itself to the fact that I was going to be continuing running and the rest of the run was quite easy. We ended up running almost five and a half miles. I ran twelve minute miles, so I ran the first five miles in exactly one hour. That felt good. In the end what stopped me, was my knees, they were getting stiff and my legs were starting to be tired and giving out, I could feel myself slowing.

Standing on the side of the trail, Justine saw a deer, I was behind her and didn't see it.

As were turning around at the end of a trail, we saw an opossum standing frozen, one paw raised, tail stuck straight out behind it, hoping against all hope that if it didn't move we may not spot it.

It was so good to be out in nature running all sorts of trails; mown grass, pavement, packed down dirt, gravel, tire tracks in a field, and cleared paths in the woods, hopping over fallen logs and avoiding holes.

We rewarded ourselves with a Diet Coke.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

tragic endings

Do you ever read a book that appears to be leading up to a tragic ending and you are sad, but then you resign yourself to it and decide that it is the only way the book to end, only to have the author miraculously change the circumstances so that the ending isn't a tragedy after all but a happy one and then you are disappointed? I hate that. I wish more books ended tragically. Maybe it's because I always want everything to work out in real life. In that way, I am a hopeless romantic. In books I am willing to let the ending be sad because it isn't about real people. I find it more romantic.

Monday, October 14, 2013

It's time for a proper shower.

thoughts on my vacation:

I didn't drive a car for eight days.

I didn't shave for ten days.

I wore the same shirt for five days on the cruise ship.

I missed reading my Bible.

I am extremely selfish and expect everything to go my way.

I don't do well without quiet time everyday.

I get in petty arguments quite easily.

I love being waited on.

I didn't miss internet for four days.

I found it hard to resist using my phone once I had internet.

I like wearing makeup occasionally.

I don't take photographs very often.

I brought two evening outfits and wore those for the seven nights and didn't even get tired of them.

I need food every three hours.

I don't resist sugar at all.

My jeans are so tight they barely fit anymore.

I didn't miss home, family, or my pets.

I want to travel the world.

The idea of doing the same thing over and over again for hours everyday makes me want to cry.

I am not afraid of people I will never see again.

I am not afraid of people whom I don't care to impress.

Flirting makes me very uncomfortable.

I want to listen to music all the time.

If you like me I automatically am inclined to like you too.

I watch people very closely.

I want to experience all different ways of life, traveling and working in different cities around the world.

I miss lattes.


As a girl, if I was a crier, I would cry a lot. I often feel bad enough to cry. But I don't cry, nor do I wish I could cry. I hate crying. It doesn't fix anything. It just gives me a headache. I just go for a run instead. I've heard boys say doing physical exercise helps them cool off. It has yet to help me feel less emotional, but it's the only thing I can think to do, since crying isn't an option. It's not even like I want to cry and won't let myself. I can't muster up any tears. I just feel awful. So I do the only thing I can do. I pray. And remind myself of the truth. Only Jesus can satisfy. And I run.
Tonight Pinterest is overwhelming. I have been on vacation for the past week. I know I cannot get back to where I left off and that bothers me. And then overwhelms me. So I want to give up before I even try. Maybe one day I will learn that it is okay to spend as long as I want on a site and even if I don't make it back to the beginning that is *okay*.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

boys were girls

I wish boys were girls so I could tell them I liked them and it wouldn't be weird.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

to be added to

Ways to my heart:

Bring me a Diet Coke or latte.

Make up the bed.

Talk about real things.

Occasionally say, thank you, for the expected.

Look me in the eyes and appear interested in what I have to say.

Share the mundane.

Make me laugh.


I think chain link fences are friendlier than tall wooden privacy fences.

Maybe it's because when I was young we had a chain link fence and I have just never gotten used to the privacy fences.

I like the idea of living in a small house, on a good size lot, in the city, with a nice street, and a chain link fence.


When I am on a run I always stop and save worms that are stranded in the gutter.

It's something I have always done. I always felt sorry for them.

When Justine and I were young, we would go out after a summer thunderstorm and attempt to save all the worms on our street. I just didn't have the heart to leave them there.

Is that normal? Do other people pick up worms off the street and put them in the grass?

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Christ and the Church

I don't want to be one of those girls that spends her time daydreaming about my wedding. But reality is that I am super excited to get married, have my own home, and start a family. It is something I have been preparing for for years, it is not something to be ashamed about. And yet so often I act ashamed of it.  It is a worthy goal, but I often squirm when someone asks me what I want to do in life and my only response is, get married. Marriage is a beautiful picture of the gospel. Christ and the church.

Monday, August 19, 2013

like it or lump it

I just want to be real with people. I am afraid this is often my downfall, because I have never learned the art of tack. I just lay it out there. I forget that some people may be offended, because it never occurs to me to be offended or at the off-chance that I am offended I always blame it on myself not what the other person said. Having to side-step issues, not bring up topics, or apologize for my view has never been easy for me. I just want to tell people to like it or lump it. But that isn't kind. Rats.

Sunday, August 18, 2013


This is where I sit down and write a long post about what God has been teaching me lately.

There is everything to be said and there is nothing to be said. My brain feels too full to even begin to put it all down.

This summer was nothing like I expected it to be. I thought it would be a summer of refreshment and fun.

And it was fun. But it was also very hard.

My friend asked me, what did God teach you about Himself this summer? I had to think about it, but I told her, He taught me about His goodness. He is good, even when everything around me is falling apart.

I spent the bulk of my summer considering friendship. What does it mean to be a friend? Do you have to be friends with everyone at the same level? Who are my friends?

I also realized I don't have a lot of friends that are true friends. Sure I have acquaintances that I enjoy spending a fun evening with, but there isn't a lot of depth to our friendship.

Friends care about each other. They want to know what's really going on in the other person's life. They want to talk about real things. They have fun together. They make an effort to spend time together. They serve the other person's needs.

I have very few friends that fall under that description. But I do have friends like that and I am immensely thankful for them.

I have no idea what this autumn holds, who my friends will be, or if I will really have any friends.

I have a few people that I think need to see what true friendship looks like, so when see them, I want to be a true friend to them, even if they don't reciprocate. Unfortunately, I don't see them a lot and I am tired of inviting myself over to their house, so we will see what happens with that.

Honestly, I want to get married. But I have to know someone first and my pool of friends is quickly running dry. I trust God, but I think I need to be spending time outside of my house with a wide group of people. I don't know what that will necessarily look like, but I trust God to bring it to me. He's always been faithful in the past.

I've had to trust God that He knows what He's doing, because I create these big, elaborate plans in my mind and I want God to make them happen, because they look so perfect. But they might not be perfect and if doesn't work out, God does know what's happening.

The only thing I can do at the moment is be faithful in the place God has put me in right now.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

live in fear that i cannot be your savior

"Live in fear that I cannot be your savior."

That sums up how I think about men. I see them, love them, and want to make them a little better. You know, fix them.

If they just lived with me for a little while I would make them into an even better person. (yeah....fat chance...)

But here's the thing, it doesn't work. Never has, never will.

As the saying goes, "Men marry women expecting them not to change and they do. Women marry men hoping they will change and they don't." But it's true. And I know it's true. But I still think I can fix men.

I just look and them and think, Poor boy, he needs me.

Wow. If that isn't proud, I don't know what is.

Why am I given a desire to fix boys, when I can't even do it?

I need to channel that desire into prayer and support of them. Because that's what they need. It's just so hard, because I want to *do* something. But praying is doing something. And showing support and standing behind them is doing something.

God uses prayer and He can use me.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

camera roll

My camera roll should never fall into the wrong hands. I have some very incrementing photos and screen shots on it.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

I'm glad this blog is just for my benefit, otherwise it would be a complete failure.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

downtown, myers briggs, lensbaby, and friends

 A few friends and I went downtown for a photoshoot. It was super hot, but we talked Myers Briggs, so I was in my element. I brought my lensbaby with the double glass optic and no aperture ring. So, the whole shoot for me was a big experiment and learning experience. I didn't come away with very many good shots and frankly I wasn't expecting to, but I had a blast and that's what matters. Here are the shots I kept, not sure if any of these are even good. I suppose you can decide for yourself.

more green things...what's new?

A couple photos I took on my phone this week.

I think candid is beautiful.

The 1975

And I love you, don't you mind.

It takes a bit more, it takes a bit more than you. 

I want to see you, but you're not mine. 
You don't need me. Maybe you'll change your mind. I think I'm falling for you. 

Thursday, August 8, 2013


So now I spend all my time either listening to CHVRCHES or thinking about listening to CHVRCHES.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013


I'd rather be with you. 

You. Me. Forever

i want you. 



If I have to get stuck with someone it may as well be you. 

You're my favorite

Never leaving

I like you best. 


We've decided on forever. 

It was always you. 

I only have eyes for you. 

I haven't eyes for anyone else. I'm thinking of you and nobody else. 


I really, really like you a lot. 

I fancy you. 

You're simply the best. 

You are the icing on my cupcake. 

And then there was you. 

I'm glad you're mine. 

Get in here <3

Happily stuck

I've been homesick for you since we met. 

I belong with you. 

You are my sweetheart. 


Stay with me. 

When did you begin to mean so much to me?

I am yours and you are mine. 

Come home. 

Let me take care of you. 

One.       No longer independent. 

I miss you. 

Everything is better with you. 

It's the little things. 

You're so handsome. 

It's lonely without you. 

Together is better. 

With you I'm home. 

Gosh Golly Gee. I really like you. 

Thursday, July 18, 2013


I have no idea how to use commas.

Yes. I didn't put a comma in the wrong place as a joke.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Remember when I blogged about my clothes pile a couple of days ago? I just thought I would show you the stark contrast between it and my desktop screen. It's all about the priorities.



Saw an old man early this morning smoking his cigarette and driving his smart car.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

I think it's time to put away my clean clothes. Wouldn't you agree? 

Sunday, July 7, 2013


When I say I am going to go lay down in my room and take a nap, what I mean is, I am going to go watch TV on my iPad. 

Friday, July 5, 2013


Sitting in a coffeeshop and I hear all this banging, at first I think it is drums and then I think it is some machine the coffee house is using. A few minutes later I notice flashing outside and think, hmm, lighting, I wonder if it is supposed to rain.

Then I put it all together and realize it is fireworks. 

What an idiot.
Today is a lipstick and muumuu sort of a day. 

Tuesday, July 2, 2013


We had a dance party last night. To quote an attendee, it was legiiit.

I had spent quite a few hours making a playlist on Spotify, but when we got there, it had disappeared, so we quickly had to create a new one. It was a bummer, but I think everyone contributed well and the playlist ended up being great. 

I have never danced like I danced last night. I didn't care, I just danced. And it was so much fun. And I kept dancing, even when everyone else has stopped, just me in the room, alone, dancing like a crazy. 

Already planning the next one. 

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

grid and VSCOcam

I created a Grid. Go check it out. The URL is,

Also, if you are an iPhone user and don't know
 about VSCOcam, you should check out the 
app. It is free and fabulous. I bought all the 
presets and I am not sad in the least. 

Monday, June 24, 2013

Thursday, June 13, 2013

respect and friendship

I want to marry someone I respect. Deeply. I have to obey him for the rest of my life and it will be easier if I respect him. Submission is never easy, even if you honor someone, but at least it makes it a tad easier.

I also want to marry someone who likes me for me. Someone whom I can be friends with. I have to live with him for the rest of my life, we may as well like each other and enjoy being in one another's company.

I have probably said all this before, but I think it bears repeating. 

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

unidentified bite

I'm beginning to question whether these are mosquito bites or not. 

The first one showed up Friday, the second on Sunday evening on the way to small group, and the third bite became apparent Monday morning. 

They are probably spider bites, but usually spider bites itch and when you stratch them it hurts and they are sore. These are not like that at all, they feel just like a mosquito bite. 

Sorry for the kinda gross photos, feet are just gross, what can you do?

Monday, June 10, 2013

summer drink

I just put a little bit of this and that together and drink whatever I come up with.

  • Blueberry Lemonade (We get Simply Lemonade with Blueberry) 
  • Crushed Ice
  • Gin or Rum (not a fan of Rum myself so I go with Gin)
  • Seltzer Water (optional)
I usually do half carbonated water half lemonade, just because I like my drink not too sweet, but if you want to go all the way, skip the water entirely. I also go light on the Gin, because it doesn't take much to push me over the edge.

Have fun with it and enjoy!

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Justine remade my bed for me tonight. I'm the happiest girl alive. 

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

not the same

Watch old movies (or photographs of your grandparents) and you will realize that people don't kiss the same way anymore.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

only me

If no one ever reads this blog except me that will be fine. I really enjoy going back over old posts and remembering. 

follow up post

I just want to talk about Merida's accent because it was fabulous. It reminded me of Branson's voice, only she was a girl. And yes, I know she is Scottish and he is Irish. Nevertheless, it made me want to pop Downton Abbey in and listen to that man speak. 

merida's mane

So behind. Just watched Brave for the first time and it has been out a year. 

But I just really want all the hair. But then I remembered that my hair doesn't grow past a certain point. So I guess I will have to be happy with what I can get. 

currently listening to

I like to listen to albums in their entirety. The albums I have been listening to obsessively are:

Bankrupt! - Pheonix
Wolfgang Amadeus - Pheonix
The Orchard - Ra Ra Riot
IV - The 1975
The Dawn Sang Along - The Little Ones

Recently discovered The Little Ones, and I really like them.     


Confession: I say the term 'Chromatic Aberration' in my head as 'Chronic Abbreviation'.  

Monday, June 3, 2013

"Bliss in marriage is two undeserving lovers loving because they have hearts full of gratefulness for undeserved love received from God." -Alyssa Resolved2Worship

Addicted to Nutella sandwiches. 

Thursday, May 30, 2013

...but you

I haven't eyes for anyone else
I'm thinking of you and nobody else 
-Avett Brothers




Wednesday, May 29, 2013

idaho bound

This morning I woke up and had the brilliant idea of visiting friends in Idaho. I mentioned it to Justine and then texted them and asked if they would be available the week we were thinking about coming. They were available and super exicted about the prospect of having us.  By dinner time I had booked tickets. We called the kids tonight and told them the good news: in two weeks we will be there. 

Just in case you were wondering, Justine and I are totally living the life. Who else can book airline tickets two weeks out and go visit dear friends?

Tuesday, May 28, 2013


Whisky or whiskey? 
I think it looks a bit more distinguished with an 'e'. 
Can whiskey be sophisticated? I prefer to think it can be. At least I spell it that way. 

Saturday, May 25, 2013

wedding preparations

Things to do before you shoot a wedding:
-Give yourself a blister, the size of a dime, on the bottom of each foot.

-Develop allergies for the first time this season, the whole nine yards, stuffy nose, scratchy throat, and headache. 

-Keep forgetting about the wedding until the night before. 

Friday, May 24, 2013

Dead crickets smell so bad. 


Yesterday Sasha did my hair. That involved a spray bottle and lots and lots of water. The top half of my shirt was soaked, my pants were damp, and my hair was completely wet, she made sure she got every dry spot on my hair. 

Thursday, May 23, 2013


I discovered three songs on our ROADTRIP. (Whenever I write road trip my phone autocorrects to ROADTRIP.) Whenever I find a song I love, I am sure I am so irritating, I put it on repeat and listen to it for hours. I bet everyone around me loves it. 

Here are the three songs I am currently obsessed with. 

Shame-The Avett Brothers
Lover Like You- The Avett Brothers  

P.S. Pheonix's new album is fabulous. 

family portrait

Sasha, the five-year-old, drew a picture of my family for me today. She has only ever seen Justine and I so the rest of my family was from her imagination. 

From left to right, my dad, who is *very* tall and has a mohawk, my mom, who is wearing glasses since I told Sasha she wore them, Justine, who is tall, she has a bun, me, then Sasha messed up, then she drew Callie and even though I told her Callie is taller than me she wanted to draw her "tiny" so she did, and finally Sasha. 

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

recent work

This post is going to be dedicated to recent work I have done. It has been forever since I uploaded any.

Sunday, May 12, 2013


Currently fascinated by ISTJ/INJT couples. Their relationships are so mature. They are both ITJ's so they like things done right and the way they like them done. Both can be fairly insensitive and not in tune with others emotions, but because they are both ITJ's neither are super emotional people.

Sunday, May 5, 2013


I really want to live with either an INTP or an INTJ forever. And yes I know I am an ISTJ.
I will probably read this one day and laugh because I ended up with an ESF(P/J). Only please not an F. I really don't think I could do it. And not an E, they make me so tired. And I am such an S that I find other S's to be quite dull. So really, an INT(J/P) would be preferred.


When I read a blog where the author knows what he is doing, it causes me to think two things. One, I wish I was a good writer, someone that could engage their audience. And two, it causes me resolve to write more often, even if I am not very good at it.

I love when people write about life and their thoughts on it in a short, pointed way. I feel like they let me into their soul and I am able to understand them better. It doesn't have to be a deep or profound post, just one that expresses how they view the world.

People don't read blogs written by people that they don't care about or have any common interest with. So I should stop bring afraid and just share.

Friday, April 19, 2013

reasons to wake up early

If it is cold you can stay in bed.
I never accomplish anything at night.
Morning can be drawn out for a longer amount of time.
You can be lazy and not feel guilty.
You can be alone for hours, just you and the Lord.
You can drink your cup of tea or coffee very slowly.
You can have two breakfasts.

This morning has been wonderful. I got up and ate my first breakfast, a cup of fruit and a quarter cup of yogurt, then I had a mug of tea and sat at the table for two hours waiting for my second breakfast, half a banana with almond butter on it.

Now it is time for the real world to happen. So I must change out of my button up, leggings and wool socks, and greet the day head on. But I am ready.